Day in the Life
Hand is wet. Why is hand wet? Oh, dog is licking hand, dog is awake and wants to go outside. Okay. Will get up, take dogs out, and get straight to work.
But I’m going to need coffee first.
And food. Oooh, I want an omelet!
Now in office, with big mug of coffee, full belly, one cat on my lap, one cat on the stool and two dogs on the floor. Time to check e-mail.
Done deleting all e-mails relating to porn and penile enlargement. Phew!
On to e-mails from readers. Lots of e-mails from readers today. They have taken the time to write, so of course I must take the time to reply. Then I will work on novel.
Wow, my book has cracked the top 5000 of Amazon.com.
Oh, and I’m top 5000 at BarnesandNoble.com as well.
To celebrate being a top 5000 author, I should go on vacation. Must visit Expedia.com and check out travel specials.
Hot damn, I’m going to a spa!
Oh no, have a writer’s conference that weekend. Guess I’m going to New Jersey instead. Hmmm, I should start writing now.
But first I need a glass of water.
And an English muffin. With peanut butter.
Should check e-mail again. Been away a whole thirty minutes. Must wait for cat to get comfortable on lap and for dogs to get situated around feet. All right.
Oh good, I can get my breasts enlarged. Who sends these e-mails anyway?
E-mails cleared again; one good e-mail from a geologist helping me with latest book. Cool beans! Definitely time to start writing. Hmmm, need one game of FreeCell to get warmed up.
Egads! Where has the time gone? Definitely must work on novel!
But first I need lunch. Tuna salad. With cheese.
Eeek, have to leave for gym in 1 hour. No e-mail, no FreeCell. Must get straight to work!
Is hands-on one word, two words, or hyphenated? I need a dictionary. Better yet, a thesaurus to find a less confusing word. Hmm.
Have three pages, all trash. Book hates me, characters hate me. How have I ever made a living doing this?
Ahhh, am late for meeting personal trainer at gym!!!
Yes Officer, I promise not to speed again!
At gym. Sweating. Panting. So hating little treadmill that goes round and round. Need a distraction. Wait a minute! I KNOW WHAT’S WRONG WITH BOOK!
No Officer, I couldn’t possibly be so stupid as to speed twice in one day!
Should check e-mail. Should eat dinner. Frankly, should shower. At computer, armed with pets, writing, writing, writing.
Brain melted. Dogs hyper. Hey, what’s for dinner? Oooh, I want steak!